Friday, December 31, 2010

BEING HANDSOME



Everyone thinks that good-looking people have it made.

This is mostly true, but there are exceptions.

If you observe my life, you will see that being exceptionally handsome has not made me any money. Being admired by women has not salved my financial woes. Not yet.

Also, it is often the case that women are reluctant to talk to me and almost never approach me unprompted, as they are intimidated by my looks. They assume I am out of their league. While this is usually true, I am not a shallow man. I will have a light conversation with a 7 or an 8. (They should not expect any more than that, however.)

I am almost never charged less for things in delis or bodegas. It's not like the guy behind the counter says "No... you are too handsome. You only pay three dollars for the five dollar box of fat-free fig newtons." This has only happened five or six times, at most.

It is also a burden to live up to the standards the world places on beautiful people. I can't just walk around with messy hair. It has to be messy in a fashionable way. It has to be mussed, but not unkempt. Or unkempt in an intentional way, and not mussy in a sloppy way. This is not as easy as it seems. In fact, it is a paradox that makes no sense at all. It can give you a migraine trying to figure it out. Don't even bother. It's like algebra. No one understands it.

Yes, there are problems, but in general, being extremely handsome has been a blessing. I look really great all the time, which is it's own reward, some might say. I don't know what that means, So I will decline comment. The public is basically polite to the attractive, for the most part. Most people avoid eye contact with me, and that makes me warm inside. Sometimes old women do not give me the stinkeye when I don't give up my seat on the subway.

Because I am EXTREMELY handsome.

Which is awesome.